When I was a boy growing up in Nottingham I did not quite fit in with the world around me. I was a loner. Different. Unique. I mostly kept to myself. I felt like I didn’t belong. I was very shy, had a speech impediment, unconfident…just to name a few. I have come a long way.
I was not able to make human connections because other humans barely noticed me. Whenever I was noticed I was either treated like a punching bag or just made fun of. Boyhood was torture. Puberty was a killer.
So I invented a game to help me deal with the craziness of the world. The weather was usually bad, filled with a continuous overcast. English weather. But for me it was a beautiful escape especially when it rained. It was a chance for me to explore my curiosity and imagination. I played a game where I would look up at the grey clouds and look beyond the clouds.
I knew the stars were still there shining even though I could not see them. All I had to do was look closer. All I had to do was imagine. I could see infinite worlds and endless possibilities. My head was not just in the clouds…it was in the stars.
I would spend hours imagining and dreaming of what is out there. I would sometimes imagine a world where I was not the boy I was in real life and escape this cruel reality. I still play this game. I still use this to help me. No matter how cloudy the day gets the stars are always there shining. When I go beyond the clouds to the stars I am not only free, I become what I dream…in real life.
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